It was only a matter of time before I talk about schlocky action movies. Mind you, that was the prime example whenever you talk about 80s action movies. Most of them had a distinct style of buffed protagonist who took the law into their own hands. With the action going to 11, while the story and plot just taking a backseat. Some of them had Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris to name a few. Almost all of them were bad, including this one, so let’s talk about it.
1. Cop Called Cobra
This is one of those movies that is straightforward in terms of story. So much so, I’ll condense it with a sentence. A killer cult has run rampant, Cobra oversees a survivor of the attacks, they try to survive during the winter holiday. So far, this is the first film that has an action take place before Christmas. I’m not joking, there’s decorations littered in the film that it predates Lethal Weapon and Die Hard.
During the opening moments, we see that a serial gunman belongs to a cult known as The New Order. We see them clang their axes and sharp objects and do exactly what you think a deadly cult does. Stallone’s Cobra practically ignores standard procedures and confronts the gunman. Right there sums up his character, a salt of the earth ignoring authority kind of a guy.
To me, I think this was supposed to be an 80s version of Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry. Same idea, but with Harry hunting down a Zodiac Killer-inspired murderer. While what makes that film more interesting is that we see Harry slowly becoming someone who’s not. My apologies, I almost talked about a great movie instead of a bad movie. Well, if you want to know my opinion on it, just find it.
Anyways, Cobra is just a blank character. Other than the fact that we don’t know him on a relatable level, he’s just a meh character. It’s one thing where we get to see the action scenes, which I’ll get to, and almost just be a jerk. Like, I get the feeling that his attitude is supposed to be endearing and we’re supposed to laugh at the pencil pushing authority figure.
Aside from that the action is great. When the gunfights start, it doesn’t disappoint. Especially the car chases that are also gun fights. It’s one thing to see it play out, and to see a lot of the intricacies to make it believable. This is where I think that this movie is in one way a Grindhouse movie. While not exploitive since it doesn’t have any blood squibs, it’s entertaining to an extent.
I think the main problem with the film is that there’s no stakes or anything where I want to care about the characters. All the film reminds me of eye candy where the action looks great, but it’s something where there’s nothing invested as far as what the danger is, like what’s the cult ultimate plan. Don’t get me wrong where the film isn’t a massive chore to sit through. Like, this is something where I’ll talk about the people who made this film. This is a prime example of a Cannon film.
2. Cannon Films
You know that when talking about action movies, no production company comes close than Cannon. And you may ask yourself, why of all things are you talking about a production company? Surely they’re not the reason as to why the movie wasn’t good. Well, to adequately talk about the company, I’ll give you a brief history.
It started out as an independent company back in the 60s, when their main money makers were importing Swedish movies and re-package them as a niche movie, since they had explicit content. Until the 70s came around, they were bought out by two Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. These guys main modus operandi was to make movies so cheap that they can get a return investment.
And the movies they made bordered on being bad and just being bad taste. While some of their movies fell into the cracks of being decent, and surprisingly Oscar-nominated, they have an extensive catalogue where they’re just known to being so bad that it’s good. They’re the product of the time just like Cobra, but they have a dedicated following.
I don’t know if I consider myself lucky or just a nut, but I was at Wal-Mart a year ago and saw that there was a collection of Cannon movies bundled together. I couldn’t say no and I got a select few action movies. Without wearing myself out by talking Cannon, there’s a documentary that goes more in depth with the cousin’s method of madness called Electric Boogaloo. It’s on YouTube, so watch while you can.
3. Overall
Cobra is like a bad version of Dirty Harry. It’s not the worst thing, but it lacks what made Eastwood’s movie a classic.
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